i’m baaaack

Finally!  I’m back!  No more lying around watching tv all the time, bored out of my mind, in excruciating pain.  I’m back to my apartment in NYC, living alone (NO MORE PARENTS hovering 24/7), am able to smoke my cigs to my heart’s desire. 

I’m on crutches with this big ass boot on my foot, or my robofoot as my friend named it.  And it’s pretty amazing how New Yorkers are reacting to me.  As anyone who has lived in the city knows, New Yorkers can be real fucking assholes.  It’s one of the things, if not the thing I love most about the city. Having a bad day?  Call a stranger an asshole.  Someone bumps into you on the subway?  Elbow them right back.  Someone gives you a weird look?  Tell them to fuck off.  You can do it, and no one gives a damn because it’s New York, baby!   There’s always someone ruder, crazier than you.

But now, I’m seeing the nice spectrum from New York.  People just want to help me out.  I don’t have to ask to get someone to open a door for me, they just run on over and do it.  People smile and tell me to feel better.  Someone told me I’m pretty fantastic on my crutches this morning – hell yeah I am!  I can navigate dog poop on the sidewalk, carrying my Dunkin iced coffee in a plastic bag, while looking cute as a button.  But this whole thing also brings out the crazies.  Yesterday I was trying to pass a woman in her full flannel pajamas in the 90 degree heat (hello nutso) who told me that she had a few stitches in her mouth so she “understood my pain.”  WTF?  A few stitches in your mouth?  Do you want to see all the stitches in my ankle right now?  I have 6 two-inch long incisions in ankle.  I don’t think you have any freaking clue what I’m going through.  Another person tried to give me his used water bottle because “I looked like I needed a drink.”  Um, thanks dude but I don’t want your mouth herpes. Who the fuck would accept a used water bottle as a gift.  Another dude told me that my ta-tas looked amazing.  Yeah, well, I already knew that but thank you..in fact I’ve heard that quite a bit since I’ve been back because on crutches, I have to lean over to get around.  Already, I’ve got big girls on a little body, almost comic like, so my girls are really hanging out.  Maybe that’s why the men are so eager to help me out.

It’s nice to see the good in the New Yorkers but I know that one day, some asshole will probably be having  a bad day, and is in a rush, and he can’t get around my slow ass on the sidewalk and kick the crutches from right out under me and I wouldn’t be suprised one bit.  It’s New York after all.

blah dee blah blah

not a single new thing to say.  still pretty much bedridden.  still so fucking bored.  still sucking at life.  oh! my laptop got totally fucked by a facebook virus and i had to wipe out EVERYTHING i had on there and reinstall windows.  awesome, right?  yeah, that’s about all the excitement around here.  another saturday night and i’m just hanging around, in bed, foot elevated, and bored out of my freaking mind.